Self-Soothing Practices For Times Of Vulnerability
Tuesday 4th June 2024 | Written by Stephanie Osborne
Vulnerability is always a strong theme threaded throughout my creative coaching space, and it’s an area I feel very privileged to be supporting and holding my clients through.
When these women come into my creative coaching space, what they are often wanting to devote themselves to is nurturing their connection with their authentic expression (I also love referring to this as your heart expression). They have shared with me that expression is a form of healing for them. Connecting with their authentic expression is a journey of reclaiming their sacred stories and alchemising them into a beautiful balm of strength, hope and empowerment.
I have noticed that there is an inherent desire for women to feel wholeheartedly embodied and fully expressed in their truth, while also feeling grounded and connected to their authentic nature.
I have also noticed that facing the deep vulnerability and emotional tenderness that comes with nurturing their heart expression, is often their greatest source of resistance when it comes to actualising and accessing their authenticity.
Alongside their desire to feel wholeheartedly embodied and fully expressed in their truth, these extraordinary women also have a natural desire to honour their vulnerability with respect, integrity and celebration. One of the women I’m currently supporting in Creative Power recently shared with me her intention of “embracing vulnerability with easeful courage”, while another client created a liberating intention of “leaning into vulnerability to show the real and raw me”. I also had one client illuminate the exploration of her creative expression as “a space to understand who I am, what happened to me, and what happened in me”.
What I have come to understand through their experiences as well as my own, is that vulnerability comes hand-in-hand with nurturing and honouring our authentic expression. It is a partnership, and you cannot have one without the other. While trusting the process and following your heart will always feel really vulnerable, I have learned that you can feel vulnerable and still feel safe.
Creating a really safe and stable space (both physically and energetically) to explore your heart expression from a place of trust and honesty, will not only support you in amplifying your natural creative flow, but it will also be a space where you feel safe to be vulnerable in your expression and creative exploration. This is really about holding a devotional space for yourself as well as your emotions and experiences, and focussing on your creative expression being for you first and foremost. Only then will nurturing your authentic expression feel like a true journey of heart healing and emotional liberation.
Within my signature coaching experience (which you can learn more about here), I am really intentional about what we bring love and sustenance to first, and this always begins with focusing on how this space and act of creative expression actually feels before we move into tending to the fears around sharing and been seen in your authentic expression.
Focussing first on nurturing trust and safeness within ourselves will be our purest source of strength and resilience when feelings of vulnerability arise, allowing us to then move with more organic easefulness in the expression of our authentic truth.
Witnessing the pattern and clear presence of vulnerability within the creative experience, I wanted to find new ways of holding vulnerability; new ways that feel sustainable and strengthening for our heart. I wanted to create empowering ways of living in harmony with our vulnerability instead of against it. For my clients, I wanted to uncover new ways of soothing their fears and vulnerabilities, as opposed to running and retreating from them.
Below are some of my most beloved self-soothing practices for nurturing comfort and safety within yourself during times of emotional tenderness and vulnerability. I feel these practises can be used whenever feelings of vulnerability are present within your life, in any area of your life.
Foot Massage
A gorgeous evening ritual I love turning to when feelings of vulnerability are present, is a gentle and soothing foot massage. I was inspired to being luxuriating myself with this ritual after listening to an insightful podcast episode, where a lovely man described his own ritual of massaging his partner’s feet to help her fall asleep.
After showering and once I was wrapped up comfortably in my pyjamas, I would massage the soles of my bare feet (one at a time) with a soothing chakra balm. Throughout the massage I would also speak my affirmations out loud, with the main one being “I am safe. I am supported. I am taken care of.”
Warm Water Therapy
There are so many conversations and articles and information swirling around about the power of cold water therapy. In times of vulnerability however, it is actually the soothing powers of warm water that you will find most comforting.
People have been soaking in warm water for centuries to relax. Spending time in warm water can be a beautiful facilitator for overall stress relief and in supporting a deeper sleep. Soaking in heated water raises your body temperature, increases your blood circulation, and can relieve stress on your joints and muscles to encourage better movement.
When I was living alone in London, I would sometimes find that running my hands under warm water soothed a lot of the anxiety and vulnerability I was feeling and made me feel more calm and relaxed. Another comforting ritual with warm water, is drinking warm water with lemon. I love to do this as a part of my morning routine, in my favourite butterfly teacup for added luxury.
Sharing
When thinking about the power of sharing, I always come back to a gorgeous friendship I had with a woman in London. I first connected with Jitka working at a stunning yoga studio in Notting Hill. We shared some truly special and soul nurturing times together at her peaceful home in Paddington, drinking her deliciously divine hot chocolates and pulling oracle cards.
There was a sacredness in our sisterhood and friendship that I had never experienced before. Adding this to the fact that living in London was truly one of the most vulnerable experiences of my life, finding comfort in this meaningful friendship brought me so much comfort and soothed my lonely heart.
Sharing warm cacao in gorgeous handmade mugs, basking in the afternoon sunlight streaming through her windowpanes, and speaking truthfully from our hearts, was a deeply nourishing and healing experience. Witnessing each other in a space of safeness, resonance, and connection was so powerful and transformative.
What it showed me was that these sacred spaces and connections where women have the opportunity to come together and be seen in kindred friendship, is not a luxury. These spaces of sharing are a necessity. Holding each other in our wounds and our pain, learning that we are never alone in our hurts and heartaches. Rising with each other in gorgeous celebration, honouring our successes, understanding and appreciating that we all have unique and special talents to bring into the world.
Washing and Brushing Your Hair, and Scalp Massage
"One of the great joys in life, is having one's hair brushed.”
Vanessa Redgrave, Letters to Juliet.
I’ve always remembered and adored this beautiful quote by Vanessa Redgrave in the movie Letters to Juliet. There is a vulnerability and a tenderness that comes with allowing oneself to be cared for and romanced in this way.
There is something so undeniably soothing about washing and brushing your hair, or having your hair washed and brushed. It is a small, sensual pleasure. Allowing the warm water to wash over your scalp and your face, slowly massaging in the shampoo, and appreciating the scented deliciousness of it. Closing your eyes and letting it be slow…
I can promise you that incorporating this simple and calming practice into your weekly collection of rituals will provide you with a small, nourishing moment of gentle self-soothing. An enriching practice for pause and presence.
Reading A “Guilty Pleasure” Book:
Being a writer this might be stating the obvious… but I have always loved reading. I’ve been reading mostly spiritual and personal development books for a long time now. However, I have found that these types of books are not the ones I’m naturally drawn to when I’m feeling vulnerable or overwhelmed.
Instead, one of my favourite self-soothing practices I recently rediscovered is reading one of my “guilty pleasure” novels before going to sleep. I’m currently making my way through my Nora Roberts collection (books that have remained untouched on my bookshelf for over a decade), and I’m absolutely loving it. I love to light a candle, snuggle into my warm bed and indulge in some gorgeous romance; stories of suspense and mystery shared through the eyes of strong women.
Settling into your own beautiful reading ritual can bring so much comfort, relief, and pleasure to your mind, enveloping you in a whole different world as well as a range of different emotions for a while.
I hope you have uncovered some beautiful and inspiring ideas to takeaway with you from this journal entry on vulnerability. I truly believe that wholehearted living requires an opening of our hearts and minds and bodies to the potential of the unknown, and therefore it requires a willingness to be vulnerable.
Remember… you can feel vulnerable and still feel safe. Although I have not touched on this within this article, it is important to know that our sense of safety can be supported by boundaries. We can be discerning about what parts of ourselves are shared and expressed, while being intentional about how our authenticity is excavated and how our vulnerability is tended to and cared for as well.
With Love,
Stephanie xx
Journey A Little Deeper…